|Author: Pastor Faith Oyedepo|
You are welcome to another time of refreshing. In this week’s edition of your favourite column, we shall be looking at the topic: ‘Understanding’.
Understanding is a very important factor if you must enjoy marital harmony. The Bible says: …And with all thy getting get understanding (Proverbs 4:7).
First, you need an understanding of yourself. You must know who you are and why you are here on earth. You must understand that God sent you to earth for a purpose; thus, you are not an accidental creature. Also, understand that you were not born to the family you belong to by mistake. This is because God is the perfect Organiser of man’s destiny. Furthermore, you must understand that God, Who made you, can never mismanage your life or your marriage.
However, until you are in harmony with yourself, you can never enjoy marital harmony. If you don’t have a good understanding of yourself, there is no way harmony can be your portion in marriage. The question then is: How much of yourself do you understand?
You must understand what marriage is and what it is not.
There are several people who are married, but lack the understanding of what marriage is all about. On the other hand, there are other people who desire to get married but also lack the understanding of what marriage truly is.
What then is marriage?
It is a union of a man and a woman in an exclusive, God-ordained, lifetime relationship. If you have this understanding –no matter the challenge you face in your marriage, you will know that you and God are up to it. Marriage is a perfect union with imperfect practitioners; when you understanding this, it will help you to enjoy harmony in your marriage.
A wise man once said, “Because God is the Author of marriage, there is nothing you can add to it. All you need is to believe it and practice it”. As you practice it, it will begin to work for you. Remember, marriage is a perfect union because God makes no mistakes; however, the practitioners of marriage are imperfect. This will help you to relate effectively with your spouse and enjoy harmony in marriage.
Marriage is not just a means of getting what you desire; but also a means to meeting the needs of your spouse in the union. The Bible says: And God blessed them, and God said unto them, Be fruitful, and multiply, and replenish the earth, and subdue it: and have dominion over the fish of the sea, and over the fowl of the air, and over every living thing that moveth upon the earth (Genesis 1:28). The scripture further says that one will chase a thousand, and two will not just put a thousand, but ten thousand to flight (Deuteronomy 32:30). This is God’s mystery for earthly dominion. That means when you get married, you have a potential of being minimum ten times better in all areas of your life. That shall become your testimony!
Marriage is not the source of joy and contentment, God is. Therefore, as you walk with God in your family, He will begin to unfold deep things to you via His Word and manifest Himself in your home like never before.
You must understand your spouse
For you to have harmony in your home, you need to understand your spouse. You must understand that everything about God is unique. There are no two people on planet earth that are exactly the same.
You are unique and peculiar; so is your spouse. Your children are peculiar; so is everyone God has created. You are not a carbon-copy of anyone; you are an original and so is your spouse. Therefore, you must understand your spouse if you desire marital harmony. You must understand his or her background, likes and dislikes, what makes him or her happy and what affects his or her mood.
For those who are yet to be married, before you say, ‘Yes I do’ to any man or lady at the altar, ask yourself: “How much of him or her do I really know?” A lady met me some years back; she had been married for just three months then but was already fed up of the marriage and ready for a divorce. So, I asked a simple question, “How much of your spouse did you know before you got married?” Your guess is as good as mine. She knew close to nothing about him.
To be able to understand your spouse effectively, two things must be in place:
- You must me sensitive: Never walk around with your eyes closed. Your mind is a sound mind; so, be sensitive.
- Communicate effectively: Communication is the lifeblood of any relationship. Learn to communicate effectively with your spouse; when you know how to do this, it will help you to understand who your spouse is. You need to ask questions. The disciples of Jesus were around Him but they didn’t only listen to His teachings; whatever they didn’t understand, they always asked and Jesus never told them to shut up. Instead, He always answered their questions.
If you prayed this simple prayer, you are now a child of God. He loves you and will never leave you. Read your Bible daily, obey God’s Word and seek Christian fellowship (John 14:21).
Congratulations! You are now born again! All-round rest and peace are guaranteed you, in Jesus’ Name. Call or write, and share your testimonies with me through firstname.lastname@example.org; OR 07026385437 and 08141320204.
For more insight, these books authored by me are available at the Dominion Bookstores in all Living Faith Churches and other leading Christian bookstores: Marriage Covenant, Making Marriage Work, Building A Successful Home and Success in Marriage (Co-Authored).