|Author: Pastor Faith Oyedepo|
Last week, we saw from God’s Word that marriage is a covenant between God, a man and a woman. One of the things the Word of God instructs us to do is keep the covenant of marriage. So, we will be examining from God’s Word, today, certain things to avoid in order to keep the marriage covenant and not break it.
God is a God of covenant and this can be seen throughout the Bible in His relationship with Abraham, Noah and other saints in scriptures. Not only is God a God of covenant, He also doesn’t break His side of the covenant, because He is a covenant keeper. Remember God’s Word says: My covenant will I not break, nor alter the thing that is gone out of my lips (Psalm 89:34). As His child, you should follow His footsteps and be a keeper of your marriage covenant relationship.
Marriage is meant to be exciting, if the marriage covenant is kept intact. I’m glad to say that I’m enjoying the goodness of God in my marriage tremendously, and we all know that God is no respecter of persons. Therefore, I know that what God has done for me, He will do for anyone else, who cares to heed the conditions of the marriage covenant.
Let’s look at some of the things to avoid in order to keep the marriage covenant.
Whosoever is stubborn (whether husband or wife) will end up being stripped of honour. It is like breaking the hedge; anything can happen. God’s Word says: He, that being often reproved hardeneth his neck, shall suddenly be destroyed, and that without remedy (Proverbs 29:1).
Wives must be submissive to their husbands, leaving every final decision making or approval to the head of the home. Any woman who is strong-willed and unbending is signing up for disgrace, and destruction. As a Christian woman, you must work on letting the fruit of the Spirit, such as gentleness, replace stubbornness.
Saul’s kingdom was cut off from him because he refused correction. In your family life also, stubbornness can be destructive. The man makes up his mind to do something and refuses to be swayed by the pleadings of his wife, even when her reasons are obviously genuine. He refuses to even consider her point. Such men end up in big trouble. Look at what God’s Word says: …Stubbornness is as iniquity and idolatry… (1 Samuel 15:23).
Stubbornness is equated with idolatry. This means that before God, stubbornness is a grievous sin as the worship of graven images! What does it mean to be stubborn? It means to be adamant, to be fixed in purpose or opinion. It means to refuse positive changes. God hates that!
A sister was upset by her husband and angrily decided to leave her home. The man and many other people pleaded with her to return home, but due to stubbornness, she refused, taking advantage of the fact that since he is a Christian, he could not look for another woman. After a few months, her husband stopped asking for her return. She then decided to go back home. But to her surprise, it was too late! Her husband, too, deciding to do his own thing, had looked for someone else! Alas, even though they were both believers, they were robbed of a successful marriage due to stubbornness.
We all get angry at one time or the other, but the difference between this and the work of the flesh, is sin. God’s Word says: Be ye angry, and sin not: let not the sun go down upon your wrath (Ephesians 4:26).
By holding on to anger, you open the door to sin. If you get upset about the way your spouse does certain things at certain times, rather than exploding and speaking cruel words which can cause irreparable damage, control your emotions and take a walk or go to your prayer closet, until your anger simmers down.
It is like a kettle of boiling water. As long as the fire is on, the water boils hotter. To cool the water, you would need to turn off the source of fire, place the kettle on a cool surface and give it time to cool down. Within a few hours, that formerly boiling water can be drunk straight from a glass. Anger is just like that.
You can let off steam by discussing the issue at an appropriate time; especially, when the situation does not warrant you to speak out immediately. You can also run into your prayer closet, tell God exactly how you feel, and let Him speak peace to you. Anger is a killer. Simeon and Levi who slew the men of Shechem because of their uncontrolled anger, got a horrible sentence. Simeon and Levi were brethren …Cursed be their anger, for it was fierce; and their wrath, for it was cruel: I will divide them in Jacob, and scatter them in Israel (Genesis 49:5, 7).
Anger must be dealt with, if you want to avoid the shame that division and scattering bring to a marriage. Anger puts marriages asunder faster than fornication. Anger may not kill physically, but angry words or even silence can kill a person’s spirit!
…I say unto you, That whosoever is angry with his brother without a cause shall be in danger of the judgment… (Matthew 5:22). Anger has the same consequences as murder. Learn to control yourself.
If you are not yet born again, this is a great opportunity for you to receive Jesus Christ as your personal Lord and Saviour. Why not say this simple prayer with me, in faith? “Dear Lord Jesus Christ, I come to You today. I am a sinner. Forgive me of my sins and cleanse me with Your Blood. Deliver me from sin and satan to serve the living God. I accept You as my Lord and Saviour. Make me a child of God today. Thank You for accepting me into Your Kingdom.”
If you prayed this simple prayer, you are now a child of God. He loves you and will never leave you. Read your Bible daily, obey God’s Word and seek Christian fellowship (John 14:21).
Congratulations! You are now born again! All-round rest and peace are guaranteed you, in Jesus’ Name. Call or write, and share your testimonies with me through firstname.lastname@example.org; OR 07026385437 and 08141320204.
For more insight, these books authored by me are available at the Dominion Bookstores in all Living Faith Churches and other leading Christian bookstores: Marriage Covenant, Making Marriage Work, Building A Successful Home and Success in Marriage (Co-Authored).