|Author: Pastor Faith Oyedepo|
You are welcome to another segment on this column. Throughout this month, I shall be deliberating on the topic: Making Right Choices in Marriage. Choice is one of the fundamental principles of the Kingdom of God. Whatever or wherever you are today is a product of the choices you made yesterday. Daily, you and I are confronted with choices whether to pray, what to eat, what to wear, where to go, what to buy, what to give, whom to marry etc.
Choices make a world of difference between success and failure, joy and sorrow, peace and chaos, life and death etc. The Word of God says: I call heaven and earth to record this day against you, that I have set before you life and death, blessing and cursing: therefore choose life, that both thou and thy seed may live (Deuteronomy 30:19).
From the above scripture, God has given you the opportunity to choose life. The choices you make in life are determined by the quality of your relationship with God. The Word of God says: For it is God which worketh in you both to will and to do of his good pleasure (Philippians 2:13). Let me show you one of the ways of making a right choice in marriage:
Get Acquainted with God
Being single is a time to be more acquainted with God than any other time. It is a time to experience a closer communion with God. The Word of God says: Acquaint now thyself with him, and be at peace: thereby good shall come unto thee (Job 22:21). The closer you are to God determines how close He will be to you. The Word of God says: …Draw nigh to God, and he will draw nigh to you (James 4:8).
When you build a closer relationship with God and acquaint yourself with Him, it is only good that is permitted to come your way. That good includes a good husband or a good wife. The Word of God says: …Whoso findeth a wife findeth a good thing… (Proverbs18:22). If you are single, this is the time you need to build a closer relationship with God and to develop yourself in the things of God. Every time I have the privilege, I tell ladies who are not married yet that they can be single and useful.
As a single man or woman, if you will look up to Jesus and seek to please Him, rather than being concerned about a mate, soon, you will meet the right one. As a single, what are you expected to do in your single days before you find your covenant spouse? You have to build a close relationship with God. I see everyone reading this article who is not yet married but due for it, successfully married in Jesus’ name. I see this year as your year of breakthrough. If the devil has said you will not get married, with the enemy alive or dead, you shall be married. Not just married, you will be successfully married. No more shame for you! From glory to glory is your portion this year!
What I am saying here is this: You need to build a closer relationship with God before you get married. Learn to enjoy a close walk with God. If as a single, you read your Bible only on Sundays when you go to church, and after that, you close it until next Sunday, you can’t build a closer relationship with God. If you eat your earthly food three times daily, why do you think you can go without spiritual food for a whole day? I see God releasing grace upon you to be able to practice His Word.
You need to find a place to serve God in the church. There are several arms in the church where you can serve God. Don’t just be a benchwarmer in the church; God rewards only labourers. He doesn’t reward benchwarmers or onlookers. If you don’t belong to any group that is contributing something to the Kingdom of God, go and join one; stop sitting down in church and ‘warming the bench’. From today, you will be a contributing member in the body of Christ. As you keep doing that, God will keep rewarding you in the name of Jesus Christ!
I can never forget some years ago in Kaduna when we had a convention. One of the women came and her home was troubled. In fact, her husband was ready to send her away. To complicate issues, she had no child. When she came for the convention, she told herself “I am going to locate a place to serve.” Then, she went to join the Sanitation Group. That is, those who clean the toilet. Not even those that were cleaning the sanctuary but toilet. God was not only watching, He was working and cleaning her marriage. The meeting ended and she went back home. Lo and behold, it was a new marriage and a new husband! As she was cleaning out the dirt in the toilet, God was cleaning out everything that ought not to be in her marriage. I see God doing the same thing in your life today!
You cannot succeed in marriage until you have succeeded as a single. If as a single, you find it difficult to pray, read your Bible, attend fellowship or be in service in the Kingdom and if your heart is not panting after God, the chances that you will develop these habits after marriage are slim. No serious-minded believer will want to go into a relationship with an unserious Christian. The Word of God says: But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you (Matthew 6:33). I want you to know that a good husband or a good wife is an addition. Find a place, therefore, to serve God and He will give you the right partner.
Making right choices begins with having a close relationship with God. If you are not born again, you need to surrender your life to Christ. Surrendering to Christ entails confessing your sins and accepting Him as your Lord and Saviour. If you want to do that right now, you can say this prayer: “Dear Lord Jesus Christ, I come to You today. I am a sinner. Forgive me of my sins and cleanse me with Your Blood. Deliver me from sin and satan to serve the living God. I accept You as my Lord and Saviour. Make me a child of God today. Thank You for accepting me into Your Kingdom.”
Congratulations! You are now born again! All-round rest and peace are guaranteed you, in Jesus’ Name. Call or write, and share your testimonies with me through firstname.lastname@example.org; OR 07026385437 and 08141320204.
For more insight, these books authored by me are available at the Dominion Bookstores in all Living Faith Churches and other leading Christian bookstores: Marriage Covenant, Making Marriage Work, Building A Successful Home and Success in Marriage (Co-Authored).