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| Author: Pastor Faith Oyedepo |
Topic: Making Right choices in Marriage (3)
Dear Reader,
In the past two weeks, I have discussed the first step to take in making the right choices and God’s pattern for your choice. Today, I will be teaching on Choices in Three Realms. Happy reading!
Unity of the flesh
Some people get married when they have unity of the flesh or physical unity with someone. For example, you see a young man or woman and say, “Oh, he is handsome,” or “Oh, she is beautiful. Look at her figure, look at her complexion.” All that has attracted him or her is the physical appearance. While nothing is wrong with this realm of attraction itself, it is a wrong premise on which to contract a life-long relationship. It is only God Who knows the end from the beginning. People can change over time. The man who is broad-shouldered, flat-tummied, and muscular today can become pot-bellied, flabby, and bald tomorrow. If your relationship is only based on the physical appearance of a person, your love will fade as his or her looks change. This is not a strong foundation to keep a husband and wife together for life. There is need for caution!
Unity of the soul
The second blueprint upon which many people decide on a mate is the soulish blueprint, which includes the emotions, intellect and will. Perhaps, you find a woman who reasons like you do and both of you share the same interests in music, dance, drama, etc. So, you think, “Ah, may be she can make a good wife.” You think both of you are compatible. In another scenario, you may meet someone and one look at the person, you “fall” head-over-heels in “love”. You develop strong feelings for the person and decide to get married. It is risky to base your relationship purely on the unity of the soul, because likes and dislikes change overtime. The things you like doing today, you may find childish tomorrow or you simply lose interest in them later. It is very important for you to know also that emotions are fickle. That is why you hear of people who ‘fell in love’ and later ‘fall out of love’! Remember that even values change. Although it is essential to agree in your likes and dislikes, have similar interests, be emotionally attracted to one another, these should not be the primary reasons for contracting a marriage.
Unity of the spirit
The most important unity that must exist between a man and a woman, which will also determine how much the marriage flourishes, is that of the spirit. This can only happen between two born-again Christians because outside Christ, all men are spiritually dead. When an individual is said to be born-again, it is his spirit which died in Adam that has now been re-born. To operate by the unity of the spirit, you must agree on certain fundamental principles and doctrinal issues. The Word of God says: Therefore leaving the principles of the doctrine of Christ, let us go on unto perfection; not laying again the foundation of repentance from dead works, and of faith toward God, Of the doctrine of baptisms, and of laying on of hands, and of resurrection of the dead, and of eternal judgment (Hebrews 6:1-2).
Do you agree on the following?
- Repentance from dead works
- Faith towards God
- The doctrine of baptisms (Holy Ghost and immersion in water)
- The laying on of hands (either for impartation or healing)
- The resurrection of the dead (or is he/she a Sadducee)
- Eternal judgment
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