|Author: Pastor Faith Oyedepo|
You are welcome to the month of June. It is my prayer that this new month, God shall visit and give you a testimony that will make you to rejoice in Jesus’ name! This month, I want to teach on a subject I have titled: Building Trust in your Relationship and I shall be focusing on Trust this week.
Trust is probably the most important ingredient in building a good relationship with others and in building an intimate relationship between husband and wife. Trust is something that can be cultivated and nurtured if you will follow the guidelines below. It is important for us to know that trust is an essential and vital ingredient in our daily living, whether family life or in our relationship with others.
WHAT IS TRUST?
The Oxford dictionary defines trust as the firm belief in the reliability, truth or strength of a person, confident expectation, obligation or responsibility. It is also a state of being relied upon. In a practical sense, trust means that you place confidence in someone to be honest and faithful to you, and not abandon you. Trust is not a gift; it is a virtue built through experience and over a period of time. Trust is reciprocal. The more you express your trust to others or members of your household, the more they respond to you in trust. Trust grows over time. It takes time to build trust and you need to show your partner that you are trustworthy, and that you trust him/her in return.
WHY DO WE NEED TO TRUST?
Because trust is part of our daily lives and the very essence of life depends on it. For instance, you go to bed at night with a perfect plan for the next day, because you trust that you will wake up the next morning. You eat your food with confident that your body network is designed to digest the food. You go to work daily trusting that the job you closed from yesterday is still there waiting for you. You breathe freely without bothering to crosscheck the oxygen level or quality of the air. All these actions are products of trust.
There is no relationship that can survive an environment devoid of trust. If your marriage must work, you must learn to trust your partner. You need to trust your partner with your life, your past, present and future. Marriage is dependent on the belief that you are loved and accepted the way you are. This fact helps you relax and let down your confidence. Trust makes room for honesty without fear of rejection. The Word of God says: The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her, so that he shall have no need of spoil (Proverbs 31:11). When a man trusts his wife, he has the confidence that his wife can take care of certain issues that affect the family. I can never forget some years back when my husband came to my office and handed over a cheque booklet, all signed. The reason is that he had found me trustworthy in the area of handling financial matters; therefore, he could trust me with the handling of the money in that account without regretting such action.
HOW TO BUILD TRUST IN YOUR RELATIONSHIP
You need to be truthful
In building trust in your relationship, you must be truthful. Be truthful to your spouse and family members. Don’t be known to say one thing today and another tomorrow on the same issue. There is no substitute for truth! Your “yea” must be found to be yea, and your “nay” found to be nay. If you are a person with double standards, it becomes difficult to trust you.
Constantly work on improving your communication skills
Develop the skill of being a good listener, which is one of the hardest skills to develop. Being a good listener means you don’t interrupt your spouse. This requires great discipline and respect. Learn to ask, “Have you finished?” Always make sure that you’ve fully understood what the other person has said.
Take responsibility to clearly express your needs
When a person feels he or she cannot express his needs to the other person, it leads to a break down in trust. We often don’t express our needs for two reasons. Either we are afraid of rejection or a feeling of shame for having such needs.
Keeping Your Promises
One of the ways by which you can build trust –whether in your family life or in other relationships is by keeping your promises. It will interest you to know that promises have a way of creating excitement. It brings anticipation and hope, and if not kept, it destroys trust. If for any reason you are not able to keep your promises, ensure that a thorough and honest explanation is given for it. It is, therefore, important not to make promises you know you will not be able to keep.
To build trust in your relationship, you need to surrender your life to Christ first and foremost. You can say this prayer and be born again: “Dear Lord Jesus Christ, I come to You today. I am a sinner. Forgive me of my sins and cleanse me with Your Blood. Deliver me from sin and satan to serve the living God. I accept You as my Lord and Saviour. Make me a child of God today. Thank You for accepting me into Your Kingdom”.
If you prayed this simple prayer, you are now a child of God. He loves you and will never leave you. Read your Bible daily, obey God’s Word and seek Christian fellowship (John 14:21).
Congratulations! You are now born again! All-round rest and peace are guaranteed you, in Jesus’ Name. Call or write, and share your testimonies with me through firstname.lastname@example.org; OR 07026385437 and 08141320204.
For more insight, these books authored by me are available at the Dominion Bookstores in all Living Faith Churches and other leading Christian bookstores: Marriage Covenant, Making Marriage Work, Building A Successful Home and Success in Marriage (Co-Authored).