|Author: Pastor Faith Oyedepo|
There are some identifying marks of a healthy relationship. For example, you will feel built up not torn down. In other words, the relationship will help you become who God wants you to be. Also, you will be drawn closer to others in a healthy way. In healthy relationships, you can also expect mutual trust, respect and vulnerability as well as a balanced sense of giving and taking.
Single persons who are Christians need to choose a kind of relationship that will order their lives around knowing God, rather than engaging in immorality.
In the light of this, I will be sharing with you on one of the factors of a healthy relationship –Set boundaries.
This factor is very necessary, especially when you are dealing with the opposite sex. Whether with your superior, mate or junior, you must set your boundaries. Any relationship that has no boundaries, will surely hit the rock! Define the ‘no-go’ areas. Keep yourself pure (I Timothy 4:12). Remember, you can live pure even in this impure world.
Even in relating with people of the same sex, there has to be boundaries. This is certainly a requirement, if you must be positively different as a single person. The issue of homosexuality and child rape are creeping fast into the Church these days. So, there has to be boundaries.
Even for parents, whether your children are of the same or different sex, it is necessary to set boundaries. A time comes when your children should not keep seeing each other’s nakedness any more. Relationships defer and they are in levels. But these boundaries must answer these four questions: Where, What, When and How.
In relating with the opposite sex, you must be able to set boundaries of where you and that individual can be found and where you must never be found. This talks about places and locations. Whether it’s a relationship with your superior, mate or junior, you must define the limit of where you can go or be found together.
When you are together, ask yourself this question: ‘What am I doing with this individual here?’ You must of a necessity define what you could do, as well as, what you must not be found doing with a person of the opposite sex. You must define what part of your body an opposite sex must never be allowed to touch! Sounds funny? This is crucial! Remember, God gave you sense so that you can give Him rest!
Then, talking about timing, you know that there is time for everything under the sun (Ecclesiastes 3:1). It is crucial to set boundaries concerning when it is safe for you to be found with someone of the opposite sex and what time is not. You must set rules for yourself in life, because it is only those who obey rules that end up as rulers.
Also, remember that your comportment matters a lot. You must also decide how you must never be found with an opposite sex. How you present yourself will determine the respect you will command in any form of relationship you are into.
You should not be seen in compromising situations with an opposite sex. For example, you open the door to the devil when you are found in the dark at odd times in secluded places with an opposite sex.
You cannot claim to be holding an all-night prayer meeting behind closed doors, alone with someone of an opposite sex, no matter how ‘spiritual’ you may be. You will be setting a death trap for yourself by so doing, no matter the kind of relationship between you!
Even when you sit in the midst of people of opposite sex, wisdom demands that you do not sit in a manner that will expose your privacy. Don’t be careless! Your life is too precious. You don’t have a spare one; handle it with care. Your destiny shall not be destroyed!
Singles: flee the forbidden fruit which is pre-marital sex. Keep your sex drive in neutral. Keep your sexual appetite under control. Remember that your memory will not be as kind to you, as God!
Do you have a relationship with God? If your answer is “No”, you can be connected to Him today by saying this prayer: “Dear Lord Jesus Christ, I come to You today. I am a sinner. Forgive me of my sins and cleanse me with Your Blood. Deliver me from sin and satan to serve the living God. I accept You as my Lord and Saviour. Make me a child of God today. Thank You for accepting me into Your Kingdom.”
Congratulations! You are now born again! All-round rest and peace are guaranteed you, in Jesus’ Name. Call or write, and share your testimonies with me through firstname.lastname@example.org; OR 07026385437 and 08141320204.
For more insight, these books authored by me are available at the Dominion Bookstores in all Living Faith Churches and other leading Christian bookstores: Marriage Covenant, Making Marriage Work, Building A Successful Home and Success in Marriage (Co-Authored).